The Blindness of the Human Heart
by MycroftsAngelEyes
Summary: Cas is lost somewhere, his body is injured, the boys find him and are helped by an old face. Can Cas find his way back? Can he complete his journey in time? READ TO FIND OUT! Chapter 7 now up!
1. Prologue

**Okay, this is a re-vamp of this fic since I didn't like it the way it was originally so I've decided to improve it. I've used a biblical reference that most do not acknowledge – most of the Bible bashers at least. I hope that you like it since I have a thing for playing games with Religion... must be the Catholic in me.**

**Anyway, enjoy.**

**KaseyKC**

**The Blindness of the Human Heart, the Light of Eternal Grace**

**Prologue**

* * *

_And he said, "Whoever discovers the interpretation of these sayings will not taste death." - The Gospel of St. Thomas._

* * *

The way the story goes in the Bible is that God created the world in seven days. Well, technically speaking it would six days and one for him to sit back and relax with a beer on the Sunday watching his world as it began to grow on its own. Now, if you're a hardcore Catholic then you most likely will know the order of the creation of the world.

On the first day the Lord created the light and its separation from darkness; how he did this is beyond what is explained in the Bible for any and all religions.

On the second day the Lord created the separation between the sky and the oceans, which basically means the horizon line.

On the third day He created the land by separating it from the oceans, the spreading of plants and grass and trees across the lands. This made the land look alive with life but not with movement.

On the fourth day the Lord God created the sun, moon and stars in the sky to twinkle and to shine down upon the planet Earth. An ethereal beauty that would fascinate all for millennia to come.

On the fifth day of creation the Lord God created the animals for the sea and the birds for the sky. To populate the oceans and to make noise in the skies.

On the sixth and last day of the true creation the Lord God created the animals for the land and his greatest feat, according to us, humanity. He moulded them from the dirt of the earth and gave to them his gift; the Holy Spirit within their shells, a soul that would be forever eternal. He gave to them another gift, that no other creature had, which was free will.

And then, on the last day of the Biblical creation the Lord God rested and surveyed his creations.

The world existed and Heaven was there, with Angels of the Lord given the great task of protecting mankind, of caring for it and obeying. And one Angel disobeyed and started a war and was cast from the paradise of Heaven to live out eternity in the land it created called Hell.

The Morning Star was not one to be underestimated by any rate and those who did not expect the unexpected soon realised that the snake who tempted Eve was more deadly and dangerous because it told the truth...

* * *

A Gospel that is denied by the Roman Catholic Church is what would speak of a greater truth for it would be the one thing that would help to save them all, if only they realised that it was denied because it was more truthful than anything ever conceived by the blindness of man.

* * *

A chance encounter. A brief war. Defeated enemies. A hollow victor. Who really was the winner of this war?

* * *

The room looked as though it had had a small war take place within it. The walls were burnt charcoal black in places and had holes in them the size of a head. A battle had been fought, that much could be seen with a mere cast of an eye but if you looked closely you would see that these holes and these burns were not created by any weapon devised by man, but by something far, far more powerful and deadly. By a rebellious being with love in its heart and fire in its soul.

The figure who wore the face of Anna stood next to Castiel and watched as he slowly rose to his feet, his trench-coat bloodied, his face cut up, bruised and slightly swollen. He looked awful. More like a mortal being than an Immortal Angel of the Lord.

The false-Anna looked at him worriedly for he had yet to speak a word to her. This Angel who held many questions would not normally stay silent for any reason except maybe his Lord.

"Castiel?" The false-Anna questioned the trench-coat wearing man beside her, "Are you severely injured?"

The silent Castiel still did not speak, nor did he move. In fact he showed no acknowledgement of her presence let alone her question. She did not exist to him in any way, shape or form and that was what terrified her more than any knew.

This, naturally, worried the false-Anna even more so. She was not what she appeared to be and was most definitely out of her depth and so she didn't know what to do. She was a powerful being who didn't know what to do with an unresponsive, catatonic Angel. She didn't know whether to continue trying to gain the Angel Castiel's attention or to perform some sort of spell or find someone to help her. She couldn't go to the Angels... no, Castiel was not wanted by them and she doubted they would listen to her for she wore the face of a rebeller.

The Angel Castiel was oblivious to her internal worrying and indecision. He stood beside her with his trench-coat bloodied and rumpled, his hair damp in places where blood was causing it to stick and matt together and standing up as though he was electrified in others. And all he did was stare blankly at the space before him. His green eyes unfocused, as though her were a thousand miles away.

He simply stared.

He stared _into_ nothing.

He _saw_ nothing.

The world around him was a dark abyss.

He was lost _to_ _her_ and that scared the false-Anna more than the blood and bruises upon his body. She needs help. She needs...

* * *

Dean opened the door to the dinghy motel that he and Sam were staying at for the time they were hunting in a small town in Arkansas near Herber Springs. He didn't bother remembering the name, they wouldn't be there long enough for him to bother remembering this place with its low-standard cleaning and the crazy receptionist who looked like he'd missed a date with the men in white coats. He was closing the door with Sam standing next to him, sporting a couple of new bruises and cuts on his face, when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He sighed inwardly, that usually signalled...

"Anna!" Dean jumped a mile when the red-headed Angel literally appeared next to him and Sam; he wasn't expecting _her_ to show up... maybe Cas, but not _her_.

Now, he really wasn't in the mood for this Angel crap, he wanted to check Sam over to make sure he really was as fine as he said he was, grab a shower, a beer and burger and maybe find some hot girl in the bar down the road.

"What are you doing here Anna?" Sam asked, getting over his initial shock at the Angels appearance fairly quick. He felt his side twinge slightly as he moved over, closer to Anna, but he didn't let it show on his face, the last thing he needed was for an Angel of the Lord to see him looking more pathetic and weaker than they probably already thought he was.

Anna must have noticed though since she looked at him with a questioning gaze. He shook his head minutely at her, so she answered his question putting her initial worry for Sam to the back of her mind.

"Castiel," she answered looking worried. Afraid even, "I do not know what is wrong with him."

"Where is he?" Dean asked quietly his voice dropping to that gruff tone it took whenever he was angry or worried about someone he cared for. His mind was already conjuring up some dark, _dark_ things. Things he hoped hadn't happened to Cas. _**'God! I'd hunt down every demon if one of them did anything to Cas!'**_

"Take my hand," Anna ordered, in a tone that bore no argument from the two Winchester boys. They looked at each other and grasped Anna's outstretched hands, disappearing the moment they did so... like magic.

Literally.

* * *

"_That_ is a weird way to travel," Dean muttered as he tried to get his bearing back. He always felt disorientated and confused whenever one of the Angels took the Angelic highway, he preferred his Impala but he guessed that would take too long to get to here... where ever _here_ was. He just hoped he wouldn't be having any problems with his bowels this time around.

"Where's Cas, Anna?" Sam asked, he didn't care in the slightest for the partially spinning room around him, nor for his aching side – which, it seemed, had gotten worse because of the Angelic highway – but he ignored it all, Cas was way, _way_ more important.

"He is over here," Anna answered, walking over to a steel door, which had several Enochian protection symbols burned _into_ it. She seemed hesitant to open the door, maybe she was afraid of what she would see once she did, Sam didn't know and to be honest he didn't really care, all he wanted was to find out if Cas was alright... or if he wasn't.

"Is that to keep _him_ in or some_thing_ out?" Sam whispered, feeling like he should not speak loudly in this place, as he nodded pointedly at the symbols with a raised eyebrow.

"Both," Anna replied, taking a deep breath before grasping the handle and turning it, opening the door to reveal darkness...

* * *

"Castiel?" the false-Anna queried, her voice soft and gentle, belying the intense worry and fear she felt inside her, "Castiel, please talk to me!"

Her voice echoed around the room and sounded tinny. There was no response to Anna's plea. Only more silence.

"Why's it so dark?" Dean mumbled pulling out a small flashlight from his pocket, just as Sam did the same. They switched them both on and shone them into the darkness of the room. The two bright but narrow beams cut into the darkness like train tracks in the countryside.

"Cas?" Dean called out, his voice echoing slightly, "Cas, you in there buddy?"

* * *

"Jesus! Cas!" Dean exclaimed as both he and Sam dived through the door over to the trench-coat wearing body lying on the floor – unmoving.

"Cas! Can you hear me man!?" Dean cried as he and Sam rolled Castiel over onto his back to reveal that Castiel looked as though he just was sleeping or...

"He's breathing Dean!" Sam interjected before Dean's imagination went into overdrive. "He's still alive!"

"_Anna_... What the _hell_ happened!?" Dean growled his anger starting to get the better of him; he'd already had too many shocks, for one week at least.

"I do not know the whole story Dean but, I felt Castiel calling for help earlier today. He was screaming for help Dean. _Screaming_," her eyes became watery from unshed tears, she was not meant to be doing this, she was not who they thought her to be, "he was using emotions and images though... an Angel doesn't _do_ that Dean. An Angel's not _supposed_ to do that," the false-Anna looked at Dean, confusion and worry in her eyes, "I came to his aid and found those three over there..." She nodded towards three bodies partially illuminated by the light from the door, "beating Castiel. I exorcised them quickly and when I checked on Castiel to see if he was alright, he did not answer me. He just stood there, staring."

"And I'm guessing that's when you came to get us right?" Sam put in looking up at Anna from where he was sitting besides Castiel.

"Yes," the false-Anna replied, "I had hoped you would be able to help me."

"_How_ exactly?" Dean asked, shining his flashlight on to the demon bodies.

"I do not know," She replied sounding defeated and afraid, "I really do not know Dean Winchester."

* * *

**TBC...**

**Okay. Was that better than how it was originally? I would like to know what you think of it anyway but if you read the original please let me know if this one is better or worse okay?**

**KaseyKC**


	2. Chapter 1

**Alright, here is the first chapter. I'm very sorry to those who have read the original one of this and such but I was finding it very difficult to write this and I'm also in the UK which means that we're behind on the whole season five thing -.-**

**Anyway, I've finally updated this and I hope this intrigues you.**

**Enjoy**

**KaseyKC**

**Chapter One**

* * *

"_Jesus said, 'Those who seek should not stop seeking until they find. When they find, they will be disturbed. When they are disturbed, they will marvel, and will reign over all. And after they have reigned they will rest.'" – The Gospel of St. Thomas._

* * *

_'Where am I?'_

_Castiel turned around in circles, his eyes meeting nothing but blackness._

_'What is this place?'_

_Surrounding him was a small ring of light, much like a spotlight, but he could not see where it came from. It was just there._

_'Much like me' he quipped as he turned around once again, his trench-coat billowing out around him._

"_Hello," Castiel called out, his voice ringing out, telling him he was somewhere very big, "Is anybody there?"_

_Silence._

"_Zachariah?" Castiel felt the hairs on his neck standing up, prickling. What was the Dean had called it – spidey-sense._

_He wasn't alone. His body knew it but his mind could not see who, or what, was in there with him._

'_This is not good.'_

* * *

"Okay. What the heck are we going to do?" Dean paced up and down alongside the doorway which Anna was stood outside peering in, "We've got an unconscious, _injured_ Cas and you," he looked at Anna with a frown as he paced past her before turning around and moving over towards where Sam was tending to Cas, "Sam?"

"I'm busy Dean," Sam replied with a clipped tone as he focused intently on checking Cas over fully without causing anymore damage to the injured body of the Angel he'd come to like, even if said Angel wasn't exactly happy with his existence, "Just, go back to the motel and get me the first aid kit would you?"

"Er.... yeah, genius. How am I supposed to get back there?" Dean snarled as he kicked a piece of rubble out of his way and glared at Sam who didn't even bother replying to him.

"I can take you," Anna cut in before Dean could say anything else that he might regret, "It will only take moments and I do not wish to leave him here anyway."

Dean looked over at her and Sam said, "Good idea. I'll need to patch him up before we can move him so I'll still be needing that first aid kit like _now_," he looked over at Dean pointedly with his I-can't-do-anything-until-I-get-what-I-need look.

Dean rolled his eyes in frustration and said, "fine," before stomping over to Anna taking the outstretched hand and looking over at Cas before he popped out of the room with Anna, leaving Sam alone with the injured Angel.

"Just you and me for now Cas," Sam said absently as he loosened the black tie around Cas' neck allowing him to see the ugly purple bruises that had probably been caused by the tie itself, "Just you and me."

* * *

"_I don't know where I am. I don't know how I came be here. But I don't recall what was happening before I ended up where I am now," Castiel muttered to himself as he continued to stand in the darkness and stare into it, not seeing for there was nothing but the black to see._

_He recalled the demons; he recalled what they had wanted; the Winchesters... as per usual. He remembered the way they had beaten him, an Angel of the Lord, as though he was nothing but tissue paper. He recalled how they had laughed as he'd tried to free himself from the cage they'd put him within, Enochian symbols locking him away, trapping him and stopping him from helping the Winchesters. He also recalled a light, a blinding white light that only he appeared to have been able to see. A voice had called to him, soft yet commanding, kind yet firm, "come to me child... come to me... close your eyes and pray my angel..." and he had done as it had ordered him, almost as though he had no choice and could not disobey._

_He had closed his eyes and he had prayed. He had recited every prayer that man knew and some that were only for the Angels of the Lord to know. He had kept his eyes shut as he'd listened to his own cracked voice echoing around the room he was contained within. He had prayed to his Father when he had felt a hand on his shoulder, a hand that was too warm to be human but too soft to be a demon's. He had felt something embrace him, like a mother would embrace her child when it was afraid or hurt. And then he had been flying._

_Flying out of his vessel, out of the confines of the Earth, past the confines of reality to the place he was now. He had left the Earth in only his mind and his Grace but his body remained back upon the plain of existence that mankind walked upon, that the Angels spent their days observing and interacting with. He went far beyond all of that; he went back to wherever he was now._

_He sighed and decided to sit down, even if he wasn't actually corporeal his feet still ached as though he was walked the trek of Moses and the Israelites when they had been searching for a new home in which to live. He wondered how he, an Angel of the Lord, could feel what a mortal man might; what his vessel would feel, but he did not ponder it for long for a few seconds after he had sat down a fiery explosion occurred before him. _

_Jets of fire blasting up from the darkness, illuminating the area around him with a burnished orange-glow. He was about to rise to his feet when in front of his very eyes words began to form, morphing and beginning to glow from the darkness. They caught his attention so fully that he could do nothing but stare with open-eyed wonder at this amazing sight. _

_He watched as the words burnt with the same burnished orange-glow that the flames had and made him feel like he was witnessing something unique and never before seen by any Angel of his ranking. Slowly, he finally stood and rose to his full height, feeling the wings upon his back flutter and stretch out like they had minds of their own. He read the words aloud, the orange-glow reflecting in his shining blue eyes, __"Jesus said, 'Those who seek should not stop seeking until they find. When they find, they will be disturbed. When they are disturbed, they will marvel, and will reign over all. And after they have reigned they will rest.'"_

_And that was when he realised where he was. _

* * *

**TBC...**

**This isn't the longest chapter I've done for this but I find it kind of difficult to drag it out without giving everything away in one go.... hmm, I'm going to have to work on that.**

**Anyway, please review. I LOVE reviews and this fic has literally been driving me mad.... just ask anyone I know – I'm always muttering about crazy little demons and cute Angels with puppy-dog blue eyes and such. :p**

**KaseyKC**


	3. Chapter 2

**Okay. I've only just written this and to be honest, I'm absolutely exhausted; lack of food, lack of sleep and a cold REALLY do not make for the best energy levels... oh well.... that's my problem.**

**Now, I hope you guys like this and I'm going to say this now; this fic is going to be LONG because I'm using the Gospel of St. Thomas – a verse each chapter... and if I remember correctly there are one-hundred and fourteen verses.... yikes! I've got my work cut out for me.... **

**Anyway, I know this is filled with a load of religious mumbo-jumbo and stuff and I'm sure some people are errm... not entirely comfortable with it but I've just got to tell you; this Gospel isn't recognised by the Church which means I believe in it more than I do anything else... and I'm a CATHOLIC – talk about irony huh.**

**Anyhow, I hope you enjoy it and please review – reviews make me feel happy and will help me get better quicker.**

**KaseyKC**

**Chapter Two**

* * *

"_Jesus said, "If your leaders say to you, 'Look, the (Father's) kingdom is in the sky,' then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, 'It is in the sea,' then the fish will precede you. Rather, the kingdom is within you and it is outside you. When you know yourselves, then you will be known, and you will understand that you are children of the living Father. But if you do not know yourselves, then you live in poverty, and you are the poverty."__**"**__ – The Gospel of St. Thomas._

* * *

_It was an unusual feeling for an Angel of the Lord to feel as though he had no control over anything, not even over his own wings. It made Castiel feel like he had no power; not wherever he was now. No. His power was nothing compared to what was here with him; with what was trying to teach him. What it was trying to teach him was something Castiel was going to have to figure out himself without assistance._

_The flaming words melted away into the darkness almost as soon as Castiel finished saying them aloud, nothing left of their presence except their existence on Castiel's thoughts. He mulled them over and wondered what they meant._

_He watched as the jets of fire became more controlled and tempered and became great pillars of Holy Fire. He felt like he was witnessing something that no living creature had seen in millennia; not even an Angel of any standing. Castiel felt as though he was getting lost in those pillars; they burned into him with an almighty force and he felt as though his entire being, the soul he had was being scrutinised by the flames. It was an uncomfortable feeling to say the least and he suddenly realised why Dean did not like it when he looked into his heart and saw the conflict within; it was... freaky._

_He sat down heavily on the ground, well he considered it to be ground since for all he knew it could be endless space and he was floating or something, and sighed out loud. He reasoned that the only way for him to get out of here, wherever here was, was to play the game he had been thrust into._

_With that thought he mulled over the words he had seen not moments ago. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply; calming himself and allowing his rational thought-process to take control, before snapping his eyes open and thinking furiously over the concept of the words, over their meanings._

_Those who seek; he was seeking out God, he was searching for his Father. Did that mean him then, or did it mean someone else? Did it mean Dean or Sam; both were searching for redemption, one for the acts he had committed in Hell the other for setting Lucifer free?_

_When they find, they will be disturbed; had he found what he was searching for? Had he found God but had been dragged here? Or did it mean Dean or Sam had found some sort of redemption only for it to be taken from them by demons?_

_When they are disturbed, they will marvel, and will reign over all; how will he marvel at darkness? But he has marvelled, he marvelled at the pillars of Holy Fire. Have the two Winchesters marvelled over something that he does not know of? Has he reigned over anyone? Have the Winchesters reigned over anyone? He has reigned over the Winchesters, he supposes; he was charged to protect Dean, to guide him. Could his guidance be considered a reign? Maybe._

_And after they have reigned they will rest; has he finished reigning? Has he finished protecting Dean, finished guiding him? Well, technically he has since he rebelled, but he knows that for as long as he lives he will never stop protecting Dean.... and Sam also._

_Okay. He's figured out the meaning of the passage he was shown, "Now what?" he said aloud, looking about himself, half-expecting to see another passage appear out of the darkness. He wasn't disappointed._

_The words burst into life, almost causing him to topple backwards in surprise, and burned with a fiery, angry red. He straightened himself out before reading the words, saying them aloud as he did so, _"_Jesus said, "If your leaders say to you, 'Look, the (Father's) kingdom is in the sky,' then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, 'It is in the sea,' then the fish will precede you. Rather, the kingdom is within you and it is outside you. When you know yourselves, then you will be known, and you will understand that you are children of the living Father. But if you do not know yourselves, then you live in poverty, and you are the poverty."_

_He sighed, for as soon as he spoke the words they, like the words prior, faded away into the darkness, leaving him with the pillars of Holy Fire once again. Only this time, the pillars of Holy Fire began to morph and move about whilst still retaining their basic shape. They looked almost as though they were... alive?_

* * *

The false-Anna and Dean re-appeared outside the room protected with Enochian symbols and containing Castiel and Sam only minutes after they had left. They immediately noticed a couple knew burns and dents in the walls of the room; it put them instantly on their guards.

Dean, hampered by the armful of medical supplies he had in his arms, could do nothing more than stand behind Anna as she held both of her hands out slightly in front of her; instantly on the defensive.

But they needn't have been concerned because Sam called out, "It's safe you know. And before you ask; no, I didn't do _this_."

Dean and the false-Anna looked at each other in confusion and then looked over to the open door when Sam popped his head out and said, "Honestly. I don't know _how_ it happened."

Dean looked at Sam and was about to speak when Sam cut in and said, "Hey. Bring those in here would ya? I need to patch up a couple of these cuts; they're kinda nasty."

Anna nodded, believing Sam's words immediately and watched as Dean hesitated for a moment before proceeding to enter the protected room and assist Sam in patching up _his_ Angel.

* * *

The false-Anna stood beside the door feeling rather awkward because the two Winchester boys believed her to really be the person whose face she wore. Maybe she should inform them that they were mistaken. But then they would not trust her; they would think she was a demon or something like that. Although, they might not. They might happily believe her and take her words at face-value... yeah, right. Sure. And she was so very trustworthy wasn't she now. Of course, they would find out at some point; whether it be now from her herself, or later on from Castiel or some random demon who wished to spread discourse within the ranks of the true warriors of God. Could she take the risk and tell them before that happened, or would she wait until it was too late?

* * *

Dean knelt down on the opposite side of Cas that Sam was knelt beside and handed his brother a pressure bandage and a bottle of anti-septic wash. He wondered if he should ask his brother what had happened, or if he should just leave it be for now. As Sam occasionally asked him for a swab, or another bandage, or the needle and thread to quickly stitch-up a nasty wound, he argued with himself on whether or not to ask him before the urge to ask won out.

"Sammy," he said; his voice low and deep. He was about to continue when Sam cut in, not even bothering to look up at him as he continued to bandage up one of Cas' wrists with gentle hands.

"I'm surprised you lasted this long without asking Dean. I'm proud."

Dean could distinctly hear the humour tinting Sam's words and resisted the urge to smack him upside-the-head, "Whatever smartass. Just tell me what happened," he growled in annoyance, although he wasn't _really_ annoyed.... well, not very annoyed.

Same didn't answer immediately, choosing instead to focus on Cas' other wrist that looked to have a nasty burn on it; the Angel's skin was normally so fair that to see such marks on it made Sam's gut twist uncomfortably. It was like God's beauty was being marred and damaged; it just wasn't right, "I don't actually know Dean. I was sitting here beside Cas for about a minute after you and Anna 'flew away' and everything was quite, then suddenly there were three maybe four demons outside the door looking in with evil, twisted grins. Before I could even move or make a sound I was flung against the wall behind me and they were starting to advance into the room and then..." he trailed off as he smeared some burn ointment on the burn without really seeing what he was doing.

"What Sammy?" Dean didn't like the way this story was going; he'd much rather that Sam tell him that Cas had woken up for a second and did his Angelic-glowy-thing and sent those sons of bitches back where they'd crawled from.

"Then... there was this light," Sam finally looked up at Dean wearing a truly confused look upon his handsome face, "I-I couldn't see... it felt like the world ceased to existence in that moment and then... then everything came back and the demons were nothing more than dust on the ground," he looked directly into Dean's eyes and said, sounding confused and desperate, "how can that be Dean? How can demons be reduced to dust b-by _nothing_?"

Dean didn't have an answer and so shrugged his shoulders. He sighed and said, "I don't know Sammy... but I'm sure we'll find out... but first we've got to make sure Cas will be okay."

Sam nodded and took a deep, calming breath to steady his nerves and said, "Well, I've done all I can for him for now so we might as well move him back to our motel room and I can finish up properly and keep an eye on him whilst he's recovering."

Dean nodded and, with Sam's assistance, managed to lift Cas up between them and carry him over to the door and the false-Anna who realised that they were ready to leave. She placed her hands on each of the brother's arms and in the blink of an eye they were gone. Nothing left of them except for the bloody swabs and the wrappers of the bandages Sam had used on the Angel of Thursday.

* * *

**TBC....**

**Okay, Cas has figured out ONE verse and now he's got another.... isn't that fun huh!**

**I'm trying the best I can to get these chapters to be at least two A4 pages long, but it's not easy... especially when you're working late at night and trying to shut your brain up long enough for you to stop thinking and just type... anyway, moving on.**

**REVIEWS! I WANT REVIEWS! I orderth thou to deliverth to me some reviews to maketh thine self feel a bit better... :p**

**KaseyKC**


	4. Chapter 3

**Here is the third chapter of this. I haven't really had any reviews... that's kind of upsetting you know. Anyway, enjoy. **

**KaseyKC**

**Chapter Three**

* * *

"_Jesus said, "The person old in days won't hesitate to ask a little child seven days old about the place of life, and that person will live. For many of the first will be last, and will become a single one." – The Gospel of St. Thomas.__**"**_

* * *

_The term 'Kingdom of God' is a phrase that is seen in the Gospel according to the Hebrews and in the New Testament of the Bible more than one-hundred times but it is not seen in the Hebrew Bible at all. It is also seen only once in the apocryphal Wisdom of Solomon (10:10) and is defined almost entirely by parables._

_For example, when speaking to Moses on Mount Sinai, God tells Moses that Israel "will be for me a Kingdom of priests and a Holy nation." The priest as king is mentioned in early Judaic writings, "then Melchizedek King of Salem (Jerusalem) brought out bread and wine. He was priest of God Most High."_

_In the Second Chronicles the Lord said, "My Name will remain in Jerusalem forever." And Cyrus, the King of Persia, agreed and was quoted saying; "The Lord, the God of Heaven, has given me all the kingdoms of the earth and he has appointed me to build a temple for him at Jerusalem in Judah. During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions... and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek. The prophet Zechariah taught of a king of Jerusalem stating, 'shout, Daughter of Jerusalem! See you king comes to you, righteous and having salvation, gentle and riding on a donkey.'"_

_Throughout the entire Bible spiritual warfare is referred to constantly; with God ultimately winning and establishing His Kingdom, for example; "The seventh Angel sounded his trumpet, and there were loud voices in Heaven, which said: 'The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ, and he will reign forever and ever.' And the twenty-four elders, who were seated on their thrones before God, fell on their faces and worshipped God, saying: 'We give thanks to you, Lord God Almighty, the one who is and who was, because you have taken your great power and have begun to reign.' "And I heard a loud voice saying in Heaven, 'Now has come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ."_

_There is a prayer that is said during Mass, in the Catholic faith as well as in other Christian denominations, that is known as the Lord's Prayer. It goes as follows;_

_Our Father, who art in Heaven,_

_Hallowed by thy name,_

_Thy kingdom come, thy will be done,_

_On earth as it is in Heaven,_

_Give us this day our daily bread,_

_And forgive us our trespasses,_

_As we forgive those who trespass against us,_

_And lead not into temptation,_

_But deliver us from evil,_

_For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory. Forever and ever._

_Amen._

_This prayer is recited by millions, even billions, of Catholics, Anglicans and those of other Christian denominations as a way of thanking God, of asking forgiveness, of asking for guidance and several other things. As a result it is one of the best known prayers in the twenty-first century and has been sung and translated into every language on earth. _

_Using this knowledge one would think that an Angel of the Lord, when in need of guidance, would recite this prayer since it is so well known. But no, there are other prayers, though they make not been as well-known, that an Angel of the Lord, that is in need of guidance, or a bit of peace and purity of the soul to help himself, might recite. Such as;_

_Almighty God, _

_To whom all hearts be open, _

_All desires known, _

_And from whom no secrets are hid; _

_Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of thy Holy Spirit, _

_That we may perfectly love thee, _

_And worthily magnify thy holy Name; _

_Through Christ our Lord. _

_Amen._

_And so, with the reciting of such a prayer, commonly known as a 'collect', an Angel of the Lord may find assistance for his task in discerning the meaning of the verses he is being plied with, will he not?_

* * *

_Castiel knelt down on the ground; he refused to think of it as not really being the ground and instead being nothing but space with him floating about, and prayed. He prayed to his Father, to help him, to guide him for he needed guidance; he needed what he gave to Dean whenever he began to stray from his path._

_He did not fully believe that his Father would appear before him and offer him all the answers; no, that was extremely unlikely to occur, but it didn't stop a part of him from wishing for it to. He prayed to an absent Father who, it seemed, did not care for him or for any of the other creations that He has created. It made one feel as though they were nothing; as though they were worthless. Needless to say, it was not a nice feeling._

_Castiel closed his eyes tightly and rocked slightly back and forth, feeling like he was lost in emotion; just because he did not show any emotion did not mean that he did not feel them. He felt like he was nothing, like he did not matter, like his Father had abandoned him to his fate... it made his heart break and his grace splutter in sorrow. _

_No! He would not believe that! He would not! He could not afford to believe such a thing; to not believe in his Father was too sinful for him to think about. He felt a hot, angry tear run down his cheek but he made no move to wipe it away; he allowed it to roll down his cheek and drop off of his jaw onto the trench-coat he wore. He allowed for himself to shed tears borne from anger and despair; borne from a determination that was breaking him; borne from a need for the guidance, for the love of his Father._

"_Father... please... help me..."_

* * *

_He cried until he no-longer had any tears left to shed and only once he was done with his tears did he open his eyes and see that the area around him had changed; gone were the pillars of Holy fire; gone was the darkness that he had been suspended in. In their place was a world - or what could pass as a world; the colours of the leaves were wrong; the sunlight the wrong tone; the grass a more bold green than average; the total lack of anyone around him even though he was near to a children's playground. It was the same but different to the world he walked; this world seemed alive but dead at the same time._

_He stood up, rising from where he knelt in the too-bold green grass, and looked about himself; searching for another being in the area. But he could find no-one. He was no-longer trapped within the darkness but he was still alone._

* * *

_He wandered around the area; past the stationary swings; past the colourful jungle-gym; past the park benches that would normally hold women – mothers – who would chat away to each other as their children played and interacted. There was no-one around; it made him hesitant and his wings fluttered nervously as he stood beside a blooming cherry-blossom tree. _

_He felt like he was the only being around beside the trees and the bugs... hold on; there weren't even bugs here. There was only him and him alone._

"_Hello," a soft, light voice called out to him from across the playground._

_Or not._

"_Who's there?" Castiel asked, his voice sounding a lot surer than he felt inside. He looked about himself, searching for the owner of the voice that had called to him and spied a young girl wearing a knee-length white dress; much like the one a child would wear to Church on Sunday._

"_Hello," she repeated smiling at him with a wide, warm smile full of a child's innocence; but her eyes told him that she was not a child, not really. Her eyes betrayed her age; they told him that she was eons old; that she had seen many-a-thing._

"_Who are you?" Castiel asked, not moving from where he stood; his wings curling themselves around him in a weak show of a defensiveness. He doubted that this girl could even see them, but he couldn't be certain._

"_You don't need to be so afraid of me Castiel. I don't mean you any harm," the girl smiled, her voice sounding soft and light as it flew around the playground like moths in the moonlight, "Come. We don't have much time for you to learn what you need to, my dear Castiel."_

_Still Castiel did not move from where he stood and this served to annoy the young girl slightly. She sighed and said, "I'm here to help you. You asked for guidance Angel; I am that guidance. Now please. I really am only trying to help you with your journey."_

_Castiel stared at the young girl, scrutinising her for a long moment before nodding and moving swiftly towards her. She beamed at him with a happy smile and slipped her hand into one of his; making him start in surprise, he had not expected her to be corporeal._

"_Okay," she said as she began skipping away from the playground and down a path that had trees on either side of it; Castiel had no choice but to follow her as her grip on his hand was astonishingly strong, "You've figured out one of the verses on your own; congratulations by the way!" she gave him a blinding smile before continuing, "but you didn't like the scenery of your previous workspace so you asked for guidance and here I am! So, what's the verse you've got to interpret again?"_

_Castiel answered her question in his usual slow, paced speech-pattern, "The verse is this; Jesus said, "If your leaders say to you, 'Look, the (Father's) kingdom is in the sky,' then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, 'It is in the sea,' then the fish will precede you. Rather, the kingdom is within you and it is outside you. When you know yourselves, then you will be known, and you will understand that you are children of the living Father. But if you do not know yourselves, then you live in poverty, and you are the poverty."_

_The young girl was silent as the continued down the path in a relatively relaxed silence and Castiel suddenly realised that he had not asked her name. Just as he was about to ask the trees on either side of the path disappeared as they reached a large, open area that looked as though it was a well-kept wildlife preserve._

"_I think you'll find yourself able to work it out here. There's company; though none of them are Angels or humans, and there is a place for you to rest and such. I've got to leave for a little while, but if you are in desperate need of my assistance just pray for guidance and I'll pop back here in no time at all," the girl released her grip on Castiel's hand and he flexed the limb absently as she smiled at him before disappearing from his sight with a, "goodbye Castiel."_

_He looked at the space before him; taking in the hundreds of other creatures living in total harmony and muttered under his breath, "she could have at least given me a clue."_

* * *

_He sighed and leaned back against the tree he had determined looked to be the most comfortable; he had shed his trench-coat early and had loosened the tie around his neck even more so than it usually was. Castiel closed his eyes and let the verse float about in his mind's eye; he took in its words and began to analyse each individual line._

"_If your leaders say to you, 'Look, the (Father's) kingdom is in the sky,' then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, 'It is in the sea,' then the fish will precede you."; that is saying do not presume to believe what others tell you. Does this relate to him blindly following the orders of the Arch Angels without a thought, believing them to be orders from the Father? Maybe._

"_Rather, the kingdom is within you and it is outside you."; that is saying that the Kingdom of the Father resides within all, the Holy Spirit or Free Will? Did this relate to him? He is one of his Father's creations is he not, so therefore, that would apply to him just as much as it would apply to any other creation, right?_

" _When you know yourselves, then you will be known, and you will understand that you are children of the living Father."; that is basically saying that one must know who they are before they can truly be known, and trusted, by others. That, when one knows who they are then they will come to the realisation that they are the children of God. Does that relate to him? Does he not know who he really is? Or do others not know this? Does it refer to Sam and Dean? _

" _But if you do not know yourselves, then you live in poverty, and you are the poverty."; that, simply means, that if you do not know yourself truly then you are poor, you are not better off than others because they know themselves and they are known and they have been enlightened for they know they are children of God. Does he live in poverty? Does Sam or Dean live in poverty because they do not know who they are?_

"_What does this mean?" Castiel growled in exasperation, "I don't understand!"_

_A wind blew gently through the leaves of the trees; making them rustle and wave at him. He felt it gently caress his cheek as though they were the fingers of a lover showing him affection. As the wind continued to caress his cheek with such tenderness he suddenly felt like he would understand what it meant, but only in time; only if he had patience. Not that, that made him feel any better._

_Castiel sighed; the anger and frustration he had felt only moments ago dissipating as quickly as it came, and looked across the small clearing the tree he was leaning against was bordering on. He stared across the clearing; peering into the trees on the other side and was certain that, just for a single moment, he had seen the blossoms from the trees that had come loose float about and form a shape; a word._

_He blinked and rubbed his eyes profusely before looking back at the trees and seeing that what he had thought he'd seen was actually real for a large grouping of blossoms floated in the air and began to twist and form words; which he read as he observed this amazing sight._

_He said the words that he saw out loud; his voice echoing around the clearing, "Jesus said, "The person old in days won't hesitate to ask a little child seven days old about the place of life, and that person will live. For many of the first will be last, and will become a single one."_

* * *

**TBC...**

**Okay. REVIEWS! That is an order!!!**

**Please....**


	5. Chapter 4

**My apologies that I haven't updated lately. I've only just gone back to school this week and I've been having to deal with the fact that I have ANOTHER set of mock exams to do which I haven't revised for; that's good isn't it?**

**Anyway, moving on from that, I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me tell you this; I know it doesn't have any Castiel in it (well not in the sense of being conscious) but bear with me. I couldn't leave Sam and Dean out of this could I now? That's a rhetorical question.**

**Enjoy.**

**KaseyKC**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

* * *

"_Jesus said, "Know what is in front of your face, and what is hidden from you will be disclosed to you. For there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed. And there is nothing buried that will not be raised." – The Gospel of St. Thomas__**"**_

* * *

_Morality (from the Latin moralitas "manner, character, proper behaviour") has three principal meanings._

_The descriptive sense of the term morality refers to personal or cultural values, codes of conduct or social morals that distinguish between right and wrong in the human society. The description of morality in this manner does not make a claim about what is objectively right or wrong, but only refers to what is considered right and wrong by people. An act is deemed to be right or wrong by the level of harm or benefit that is thought to result from them; but it is entirely possible that many moral beliefs are based on prejudice, ignorance or even hatred._

_The normative sense - the typical, day-to-day use –the term refers directly to what is right and wrong, regardless of what people think. This could be defined as being the conduct of the ideal moral person in a certain situation. The usages of this term is commonly characterised by definitive statements such as 'that act is immoral' rather than a descriptive one such as 'many believe that act to be immoral'. This is often challenged by moral scepticism; where the idea of an unchanging existence of a rigid, universal and objective moral truth is rejected._

_Morality is also commonly defined as being synonymous with ethics; the field that encompasses the above two meanings and others within a systematic philosophical study of the moral domain. _

_Ethics seek to address questions such as how a moral outcome can be achieved in a specific situation (known as applied ethics), how moral values should be determined (normative ethics), what morals people actually abide by (descriptive ethics), what the fundamental natures of ethics or morality is, including whether it has any objective justification (meta-ethics), and how moral capacity or moral agency develops and what its nature is (moral psychology)._

_For a hunter who kills demons, for a family man who says 'yes', for tired Angels of the Lord, morality is constantly considered and battled with because it is our choices and how we handle the consequences that dictate our moral compass. Or is it the words of a Holy Book that speaks in riddles and explains an answer yet asks a dozen more questions with every word; with every sentence; with every passage that is ingrained in the minds of devout Christians._

_If one were to ask themselves whether they were a moral person then one would have to consider all aspects of the term 'moral' since the obvious fact is this; one does not know whether they are truly moral because opinions always differ much the same as the severity of an act differs. If one uses this philosophy then one must consider any and all acts to be both good and bad; perhaps good for them personally, but also bad for someone else who may be affected by an act. This then raises the question of whether anything is truly good or truly bad._

_For example; if one were a boy who, through no fault of his own, ended up with demonic blood tainting him, which gave him the capacity to perform supernatural feats if he only had the strength to actually perform when not under extreme duress – such as being locked in a closet when his brother is about to be shot – then he could, theoretically, use these supernatural abilities to help his brother and other innocent people. Of course the problem in this is whether this decision; whether him actually choosing to use the demonic blood given to him, is morally correct. Is it alright to do a bad thing for a good cause? The ends justify the means? Or is it not alright because to do a bad thing for a good cause contradicts the very nature of the cause by tainting it with sinful behaviour?_

_Which choice do you make between saving people with the evil gift you have, and letting them die because you refuse to use the evil gift you have? _

_This is much like the Matrix in the terms of the red pill and the blue pill; if you take one of them you continue on with your life without change, take the other and your entire world changes and you become a target._

_Quite the dilemma is it not?_

* * *

Sam sat silent on the other twin bed in the motel room whilst he waited for Dean to return from the diner he'd gone to, to get their lunch; after spending nearly fourteen hours continuously watching a comatose Angel do nothing more than breathe, bleed and occasionally twitch, Sam felt like he needed to shake Cas until he woke up because he really could not find the patience he'd once possessed; perhaps it had went on a sabbatical?

Yawning loudly he stretched an arm above his head and lifted the other, only to stop when the muscles on his side twinged and decided to let him know that he was injured. He'd forgotten, what with everything that had happened since the hunt and with personally choosing to be the babysitter of the comatose Angel. He slowly let his arms return to their previous positions, wincing in protest as his shoulder then decided to join in on the pain-fest.

Closing his eyes in both tiredness and pain Sam cast his mind back to the only thing that he managed to find some semblance of peace in; Jessica. Oh his sweet, beautiful, delightful, _dead_ Jessica. The girl he'd planned on marrying and having kids with. The girl he'd loved so much. The girl who he had dreamt was stuck to the ceiling dead in his nightmares but had never thought to warn her or to ask for help. He had killed her; albeit not directly. He should have realised that they weren't just nightmares; that they weren't some random way of his subconscious trying to tell him that she'd wind up dead with him in the long run – even if that was true. He should have realised them for what they were. He should have...

"It is pointless berating yourself Samuel. You cannot change the past," a voice whispered in his ear causing him to open his eyes in a moment and spring up from the bed; instantly on the defensive.

But there was no-one there for him to be on the defensive from. Correction; no-_thing_.

"Where are you?" Sam asked, his voice soft and his eyes wide; searching for the owner of the voice who had spoken to him not seconds ago.

"Everywhere; in everything, in everyone. I am everywhere," the voice replied, echoing around the room like a breeze on a summer's day; soft and gentle yet so obviously there, "You have nothing to fear from me Samuel. I would never cause you harm."

Sam looked around the room, backing up slowly towards where Cas was still slumbering, and said, "Well you'll have to forgive me but I don't believe you."

"Do you believe in anything Samuel?" the voice asked, whispering around the room like sprites in a garden. Its question caught Sam unawares and stumped him for a moment. _What did his belief system have to do with anything?_

"What do you mean?" Sam asked as he stood protectively in front of Cas; even if it was the last thing he ever did he would make sure that no harm would come to Cas whilst he was still breathing.

"You protect him. Why?" the voice asked, making Sam's gaze flicker to Cas' comatose form. It sounded genuinely interested and confused; like it did not understand why he protected Cas.

"Because he's my friend," Sam answered, feeling his side start to ache even more so and his shoulder start to throb in rhythm with his heartbeat.

"Are you certain it is because he is your friend? Or is it more to do with the fact that he is an Angel and you feel responsible for him? Is it to do with the fact that he has saved your life, that he has sacrificed being with his brothers; his family, to follow you and your brother?" the voice asked as it became more forceful and more powerful; like a storm that was now deciding to unleash its full wrath.

"He follows Dean, not me. And he's my friend. He's saved my life and Dean and I have saved his. Even if he wasn't my friend I'd still protect him because he's a life; maybe not human, but still a life. And I promised to save lives, not end them," Sam answered as the curtains on the windows flapped about as a powerful, continuous gust of wind whirled around the room, making the papers on the table fly about the room and Sam's hair whip about his face.

Then, as suddenly as the wind had begun, it ceased. The room was filled with a deafening silence for a long, long minute before the voice spoke again; once again sounding calm and kind, "You should not berate yourself Samuel. You are more righteous than you know, even if you do bad things your ideals are good. They are moral. You are a kind soul that is tarnished by the evil that runs through your veins and, for that, I am truly sorry for it is not a fate you should have. Remember this Samuel; you have good, just instincts, it is simply your methods at times that need to be considered. Evil wears many masks and none is more deadly and sinful than evil disguised by a just cause."

Sam stood in front of Castiel, silent, as he felt his eyes moisten with unshed tears. He was not evil. Not evil...

The voice continued, "I wish you luck on your journey Samuel for your destiny is greater than all except the Angel of Thursday. Leave him be for now, for he is on a journey that he must complete without your, or your brother's, help and guidance."

Sam blinked then, "Whoa! What do you mean 'Angel of Thursday'? Do you mean Cas? Is he in danger?"

"He is safe Samuel. He will be fine once his journey is complete but you must have patience child. Patience is something all creatures must learn and is something all must use at one time or another," the voice answered echoing softly around the room, as though it were getting quieter; or further away, "Goodbye for now Samuel. We will speak again."

Sam stood in front of Cas and shouted, "Wait!" moving forward he was surprised to feel a hand on his arm, squeezing tightly, and hear a voice calling out to him, "SAM! SAMMY!!"

His eyes snapped open and Sam found himself lying on the other twin bed with Dean gripping his arm and leaning over him; concern written all over his features, "Dean?"

"Oh God Sammy!" Dean exclaimed closing his eyes briefly in relief, "You scared the freakin' heck out of me!"

Sam looked past Dean, around the room and noticed that Cas still had not moved. He also noticed that Anna was standing on the other side of the bed Cas was on looking at Sam with a closed expression, "Sorry."

"Sorry? You fall asleep, start yellin' in your sleep then try to grab something sounding like your life depends on it and all you got to say is sorry!" Dean exploded, glaring at Sam with a look that just screamed if-you-say-'yeah'- now-I'm-so-going-to-kick-your-ass-into-the-middle-of-next-week!

Still, Sam said it anyway, "Er yeah."

Dean glared at him for a long moment before finally letting go of Sam's arm and saying gruffly, as he turned away, "Your pie's on the table. There's a beer too. Don't down it all in one; I don't think I'd be able to deal if you got drunk now."

"Ass," Sam muttered as he slowly sat up, discretely wincing as he did so; looks like his side was going to be a bit of a problem for a little while, and stood up from the bed.

"Bitch," Dean replied as he stomped off into the bathroom to use the toilet.

* * *

**TBC....**

**Okay, give me reviews and tell me how mind-boggling this chapter is because if I'm honest; I'm VERY confused by this and I'M the one WRITING it!! Go figure.**

**Anyway, standard drill of; I don't know when I'll be updating this but hopefully it will be sometime next week. KaseyKC**


	6. Chapter 5

**Alright, here is chapter five for you people who are reading this... I do apologise for not updating but I'm finding that life is completely against me this week and this chapter itself took nearly two whole days to write (I had a brilliantly plan for it but most of it ermm... changed?).**

**Anyway, moving on. Enjoy everyone.**

**KaseyKC  
**

**Chapter Five**

* * *

"_His disciples asked him and said to him, "Do you want us to fast? How should we pray? Should we give to charity? What diet should we observe?" Jesus said, "Don't lie, and don't do what you hate, because all things are disclosed before heaven. After all, there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, and there is nothing covered up that will remain undisclosed."_ _– The Gospel of St. Thomas"_

* * *

_What is God?_

_Where is He?_

_Why does He not come to our aid?_

_Why does He let us suffer?_

_Why does Hel leave us to our own, suicidal, devices?_

_What does it matter?_

_What does God matter?_

_What should I believe?_

_What should you believe?_

_God; The English name give to a singular omnipotent being in several religions and other belief systems that is either a sole deity in monotheism (only one Divine being) or a principal deity (an important one) in polytheism (more than one Divine being)._

_God, as He is known, is most often considered to be the creator and ruler, for wont of a better word, of the entire Universe, of everything that was, is and will be. He is considered to be Omnipotent; all powerful, Omniscient; all knowing, Omnipresent; everywhere and anywhere, and Omnibenevolent; perfectly good and loving. He is also considered to be the Divine Simplicity and the Eternal and Necessary existence; He is everything and anything and needs to exist because he is eternal and because He is the ruler of all._

_These attributes that describe God are all supported, with varying degrees, by the early Jewish, Christian and Muslim theologian philosophers including; Maimonides; Augustine of Hippo; and Al-Ghazali._

_As is common with something this Divine and powerful there have been philosophers who have developed for the existence of God and vice versa._

_The conceptions of God can vary quite a lot, but the word God in English (and its counterparts in other languages such as Arabic Allah and Latin Deus) are normally used for any and all forms of conceptions. The same holds for the Hebrew word El, but in Judasim, God is also given a proper name, the tetragrammaton which is usually reconstructed as Yahweh is believed to be a mark of the religion's henotheistic origins. In many translations of the Bible, in dozens of different languages and throughout the ages, the word "LORD" is all in capital letters which signifies that the word represents the tetragrammaton. God may also be given an actual name in monotheistic ideologies of Hinduism which emphasise the more personal nature of God, with early reference to his name as being Krishna-Vasudeva in Bhagavata or later Vishnu and and Hari. _

_As a result of human inequalities and obvious differences in ideologies it is difficult to distinguish between the proper names and the epithet of God, such as the names and titles of Jesus in the New Testament, the names of God in the Qur'an, and the various lists of the thousands of names of Hindu gods and the list of titles and names of Krishna in Vaishnavism. Throughout the Hebrew and Christian Bible there are many different names for God that portray His nature and character. One of them is Elohim, which has been considered to mean 'strong one' amongst other things, and another one is El Shaddai, meaning 'God Almighty'. A third and probably most notable name would be El Elyon, which means 'The Most High God'._

_As of the year 2000 (the new Millenium) approximately 53% of the world's population identifies with one of thre of the Abrahamic religions (33% is Christian, 20% is Islamic and 1% is Judaic), 6% of the world's population is Buddist, 13% Hindi, 6% traditional Chinese, 7% with various other religions and less than 15% is non-religious. Most of these religious beliefs all involve one or more gods._

_To an Angel of the Lord the belief system of mankind was not of much concern, as long as they did not blaspheme before them then they did not care for what man did and did not believe, their only concern was with what the Father had instructed them to do; look after, care, protect, love mankind. That did not include what man believed; they had free will after all and could choose to believe what they wanted without being influenced, without being guided, without being told to. _

_When up in the House of the Father, no Angel concerned themselves with the trivial beliefs or ideologies of mankind, they chose to spend their time praising their Father, the Divine creator, the Father of all. The songs of praise that are broadcast on the BBC are nothing compared to the lyrical and Angelic, if you'll pardon the pun, music that drifts about the House of the Father because it is truly believed and is so powerfully convincing of the Lord's love and Divine power that any human, any man who were to hear it would instantly be swayed from darkness and guided towards the beauty and magnificence of the Almighty Father._

_But what use was that Angelic music to an Angel of the Lord who was trying to vainly understand what he was being told, what was being thrown in his face and was so blatantly meant to be a test or a journey for him and him alone. Although, the fact that this was something meant just for him didn't make him feel any better if he were to be honest with himself; he hated being the centre of attention, it was vain and arrogant to enjoy the attention of others, to enjoy the spotlight being shone down upon him._

* * *

_Jesus said, "The person old in days won't hesitate to ask a little child seven days old about the place of life, and that person will live. For many of the first will be last, and will become a single one".... what does it mean?" Castiel sat back on the soft, emerald-green grass leaning against the tree he'd chosen as his spot and glared at a tree directly opposite him, almost as though it were responsible for his lack of inspiration that he needed to understand the meaning of the words._

_He groaned in exasperation and felt like calling for that... girl... to come and help him but she had told him that this was his journey, his test and she was only there for guidance not as an answer booklet. Shame, it would've made his life so much easier. He sighed loudly as he pushed the idea of calling for guidance out of his mind and returned his attention to the passage he had to decipher. _

_Jesus said, "The person old in days won't hesitate to ask a little child seven days old about the place of life..."; the place of life, could that be where God created all? Could it be Heaven? Could it be nowhere? Maybe it was meant to be considered metaphorically? _

'_...A person old in days...' maybe someone who had lived through a lot and felt old? Maybe someone who had been through so much and felt soul-weary? Maybe it meant Dean? Maybe it meant him, Castiel? Maybe it meant a complete and utter stranger? He didn't know! He couldn't be certain! He could only guess!_

_And he hated guessing._

* * *

_Okay, a person who is old in days is a person who feels like they have lived through a lot in a short time. Castiel had finally decided upon that because it was what felt right, it was what his instincts felt was right. But as to who said person was they were being extremely tight-lipped about... which was kind of annoying._

'_A person old in days won't hesitate to ask a little child seven days old about the place of life, and that person will live...' alright. Since he had decided that a person old in days was someone who had lived through a lot he considered the rest of the sentence, and wondered about the meaning of a 'child seven days old about the place of life, and that person will live'. The number seven was considered to be divine and holy; important to some religions whilst not to others. The number seven was also the same number of days it took for the Lord Father to create the world. Maybe it had great significance as being literal or maybe it meant the metaphorical feeling of being incredibly naive, like as though one were just a newborn. What then did it mean when it said that a person who was old, in terms of experiences, asked a young, in terms of naivety, person about the location of the 'place of life'? Did it mean that he was the 'old person' and that someone like Dean was the child? Or did it mean someone else? Did it mean another child? Dean couldn't be considered a child, after everything the righteous man had seen, witnessed and committed there was no way he could be considered that naive. Who then? Who?_

"_Well, there's only one other Winchester that you know of who's young isn't there?" a voice whispered around the tree he was leaning against, around him, "Oh _comeon_ Castiel! You can't ignore the obviousness of it!"_

"_Sam Winchester is not innocent," Castiel replied to the voice, not bothering to stand or defend himself; the voice was familiar, the girl he had met earlier._

"_Maybe not but he _is_ naive, that much you are certain of..." the voice replied, "just consider it for a moment Castiel... maybe you'll see it then..." and then it was gone again and he was alone leaning against the tree._

_Sam Winchester, a naive child whom he must ask where the place of life was... no! That couldn't be! Sam Winchester was not naive, he was not innocent... but did naive and innocent mean the same thing? Not in this context they didn't._

_Sam Winchester was guilty for setting Lucifer free... he was guilty of letting the Morning Star free... but he was still naive when it came to people... he still believed that there was always to redeem yourself even after committing such an act. Perhaps... perhaps that girl, whoever she was, was right. Perhaps it meant he needed to ask Sam Winchester where he thought the place of life was. Because the first will be last and become a single one; the Holy Spirit that exists in all is part of one thing. God._

_He'd figured it out... now he had to discover the meaning behind the other passage that he had just watched appear out of nothing. Great..._

* * *

She sighed tiredly as she observed the Winchester's sleeping and the slumbering Angel of Thursday; oh how she wanted to wake him up and tell him the answers he was obviously seeking. But she couldn't do that, no not even if it would save them a universe of pain; that would be breaking the rules put in place... hold on, weren't rules _meant_ to be broken?

* * *

It was strange for Sam to dream of anything other than torture, death, pain and guilt nowadays. It was even stranger for him to dream of something remotely pleasant that didn't turn into one of the aforementioned things... never in his entire life had he dreamt of something this... _weird_.

And the irony was, the weirdness didn't scare him, instead it felt natural.... normal, not out of the ordinary. And if that wasn't a contradiction to common belief about 'weirdness' then said weirdness was most definitely a contradiction to him own ideologies of weirdness; his entire life was what one could consider weird but to him it was normal, so it was only logical to reason that what one could consider to be a normal life was weird to him... logical right?

In his dream Sam was standing in the middle of some sort of nature reserve; he could see wild animals from all over the world just living together, in perfect harmony. That was his first clue that this was a weird dream; there was no way this many animals, both predators and prey, would wonder around the same area without trying to have a _snack_.

He felt like he was safe here, like absolutely nothing could harm him whilst he was in this nature reserve. The feeling of absolute safety was something unusual to Sam since he _was_ a hunter afterall; safety wasn't something they felt often or for long. And as of late he had never felt even a semblance of safety because of the whole Apocalypse thing; which was _his_ fault. He'd had the best intentions for _all_ the wrong reasons, revenge for family, the cost; the world.

He shook away such thoughts and turned his attention instead to trying to find someone to talk to, maybe find out where he was; afterall there was no way this could be just a dream could there? Not for him, not for Sam Winchester; the boy with the demon blood, the boy who dreamt his girlfriend would die... no, not for him.

* * *

He wondered around aimlessly trying to find another human to talk to, heck he'd even settle for a cat to talk to right now because he was going crazy from the lack of conversation; and he'd be damned if he was going to start talking to himself. Wait a minute, wasn't he already damned? Being the demon blood boy and releaser of Lucifer, not to mention the Vessel for the Devil, probably meant that absolution was a long, _long_ way off for him. Still he could hope couldn't he?

He groaned loudly when he pushed a low-hanging branch of a cherry blossom tree out of his way and found himself looking at more grass, more trees and more animals; no people whatsoever. He really did feel like he was going insane.

After looking around for a little while, finding nothing of interest, Sam went and slumped down against what looked to be an oak tree; he guessed it was anyway. Closing his eyes he counted to some random number that had three digits before opening his eyes again and feeling like he had some sort amount of patience now; he missed having all that patience he'd had when he'd been younger, more naive. He hated growing up...

* * *

After about an hour of doing nothing more than sitting on the ground, leaning against the tree, Sam closed his eyes feeling tired; if you could feel tired in a dream...

Wondering belatedly what he was going to do he was shocked to feel a hand land on his shoulder. Immediately he sprung up from his position, snapping his eyes open, and was in a defensive position before he could even think. The hand that had been on his shoulder was now gripping tightly onto one of his wrists, with a strength that few possessed. Few humans anyway.

"Sam Winchester," the owner of the hand said in a very familiar voice, one that Sam hadn't heard in a few days.

"Cas?"

* * *

**TBC....**

**Would it be too much to ask for more than THREE reviews??!! It's mightily depressing to write such a long-term fic and to only have THREE reviews after THIS many chapters!**

**Okay. My little tantrum aside, please review and tell me what you think of this.... please, please, please, PLEASE!!!!**

**KaseyKC**


	7. Chapter 6

**Alright. Here is my latest chapter of this fic, I've been meaning to update it for a while now but I keep on having difficulty with the starting of this chapter after the last one... I couldn't figure out how to continue it on without ruining it or anything. Anyway, I hope this one is good and as always.... please review.**

**Enjoy to any and all who are reading this!**

_**DShelli:**__** Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying this; that makes me feel so much better about writing it.**_

_**This makes you think? Now I'm extremely happy! XD**_

_**Enjoy.**_

_**Harlequins-Ghost:**__** Thanks, I'm glad you love this; I've noticed that there aren't a lot of fics that focus on Cas or Sam... It always seems to be Dean and Cas and I just thought that's a bit unfair.**_

_**Thank you for the compliments, and ermm... if you go on; . then you'll be able to read the entire thing. On one note though, there may be a couple of differences in the translation of certain phrases; which is no surprise since there are several different translations, but it's still relatively the same as the one I'm using.**_

_**Enjoy this chapter.**_

**Chapter Six**

* * *

"_His disciples asked him and said to him, "Do you want us to fast? How should we pray? Should we give to charity? What diet should we observe?" Jesus said, "Don't lie, and don't do what you hate, because all things are disclosed before heaven. After all, there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, and there is nothing covered up that will remain undisclosed."_ _– The Gospel of St. Thomas__**"**_

* * *

_In religion the soul is considered to be the immaterial, or eternal, part of a living being. It is commonly believed to be separable in its existence from the body – the metaphysical part as distinct from the physical part. The soul is generally believed to exist within humans and sometimes within all living things, inanimate objects and the universe as a whole._

_In some cultures, non-human living things, and sometime objects such as rivers are considered to have souls; this cultures then believe in animism. The soul is often believed to live on after a person's physical death and some religions; like Christianity, believe that God creates souls for every human born._

_Some people believe that only humans have souls, because only humans were made in the image of God. This belief then places humanity at the top of the pecking order and makes one species more important than the other. Is it logical to assume that this is what God wanted for his creations? That he wanted one to think it had complete seniority and to destroy, kill, eat and ravage everything that he placed upon the earth._

_How can one reason that away? How can one reason that God made man in his image so man can do as he wishes and to hell with the repercussions? If one is honest then one cannot reason this away, it just screams arrogance._

_That was one of the reasons why Lucifer was so very tired and hated mankind so much; they believed they were greater than God, that they had the same power as his Father. And when he said no to bowing to them, to serving them, he was cast out of Heaven all because he refused to see mankind as anything other than what it was; a mass of flaws and imperfections._

* * *

_Cas sighed and sat down on a low-hanging tree branch, rubbing the back of his head with a calloused hand. 'I'm never going to figure out this passage...'_

"_I can't even ask Sam Winchester since he's not here," he muttered glumly as he swung one of his legs back and forth, like a sulking child._

_As he continued to grumpily swing his leg he thought he heard the sound of footfalls on the emerald green grass, out in the clearing where he's 'set-up shop'. Cocking his head to the side he listened closely, allowing his Angelic abilities to sharpen each soft step and gentle breath he could now distinctly hear. _

_Silently rising from his perch Castiel cautiously made his way towards the clearing and noticed a pair of jean-clad legs poking out from behind the tree he called base. With his instincts on high alert and his wings half-outstretched in both a defensive and offensive show of power._

_Reaching out a hand he readied himself to smite the creature that was at his tree.... as he looked around and saw who was the owner of the jean-clad legs. He was so surprised that he couldn't resist resting his hand on his shoulder; just to make sure he was real. He didn't expect for him to spring to his feet and look ready for a fight, so he gripped his wrist to stop him before he tried to punch him._

"_Sam Winchester," he said softly, looking at Sam in surprise and wonder._

"_Cas?" Sam frowned in confusion at him, "Cas!" he grinned happily._

"_Yes, Sam," Castiel smiled at Sam's surprise and happiness at seeing him, "Why are you here Sam?"_

"_I don't even know where here is!" Sam shrugged._

"_Nor do I, but the question is still the same," Cas responded as he released his grip on Sam and sat down against the oak, "I have another question for you Sam that I need you to answer for me."_

"_Yeah, sure Cas," Sam nodded, all too willing to do anything to please the Angel of the Lord because he was an Angel of the Lord. He sat back down against the tree next to Cas and said, "hit with it."_

_Ignoring this strange phrase Cas 'hit him with it' and asked, "Where do you think the place of life is?"_

_Looking at Cas in confusion Sam opened his mouth to reply but stopped, why was Cas asking him that? Why did he ask him?_

"_Please Sam, this is important. Where do you think the place of life is?" Cas asked again looking earnestly at Sam, it was a look that said to Sam that Cas needed to know the answer very much._

"_Er... some cultures believe-" Sam began but Cas cut him off._

"_I'm not asking other cultures, I'm asking you."_

"_I..." Sam frowned and thought for a moment, "I... I think the place of life... is... in my heart?"_

_Cas looked at Sam for a long moment and said slowly, "Is that what you truly believe?"_

_Swallowing Sam nodded, "Yeah, that's what I believe."_

_Cas cocked his head at him and stared deeply into Sam just to make sure he was telling the truth; it wasn't that he didn't trust Sam it was just he had to be sure, "Thank you Sam Winchester," he said after a long moment._

"_You're welcome..." Sam raised an eyebrow in confusion and was about to ask Cas why he was in his dream when suddenly Sam was gone and Cas was on his own again._

* * *

Sam opened his mouth to ask why Cas was in his dream when he blinked and found himself sitting in the motel room next to Cas' bed where the Angel was still comatose. Looking around suddenly, in absolute confusion he whispered, "What the heck?"

* * *

_Castiel sat next to empty space that, not moments ago, had held the youngest Winchester sibling within it. Now he was alone again and he reasoned it was because he'd discovered the answer that he'd needed._

_That meant he had another one to discern the meaning of and then another one after that. He figured he may as well start on the next passage since he could still recall it clearly._

Knowwhat is in front of your face, and what is hidden from you will be disclosed to you;_ well that may just be hinting to him knowing the real Angels from the selfish fools who were in Heaven refusing to help fight the Demons, refusing to save mankind. He had never truly known how... selfish... Zachariah was until he'd died the first time. He never would've guessed that an Angel of the Lord would want Armageddon. It was just wrong._

For there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed; _could that relate to his mission to find God? God was hidden wasn't he? Hidden from everything, and nothing could remain hidden forever. He just hoped that he'd find his Father before it was too late._

And there is nothing buried that will not be raised;_ what could that mean? Could that have meant Dean when he was buried? When he was in Hell? He was raised, by Castiel's own hand; he was raised from perdition by him. Could that mean him? Is that saying that all who are hidden away, that are buried by life and by pain will be raised again? That they will be taken up to the High Heavens? Maybe that's what it meant. Maybe..._

_**WHOOSH**_

'_I guess I was correct', Castiel thought as the trees began to rustle and the leaves began to twist and turn fiercely. He slowly stood up, his trench coat whirling around him as the leaves cascaded around the clearing; winding themselves into magnificent flowing patterns of greens and browns and yellows and burnt oranges. He watched them in silent wonder as they slowly but surely began to twist and turn into words which he read aloud, even though he was alone._

"_His disciples asked him and said to him, "Do you want us to fast? How should we pray? Should we give to charity? What diet should we observe?" Jesus said, "Don't lie, and don't do what you hate, because all things are disclosed before heaven. After all, there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, and there is nothing covered up that will remain undisclosed."_

* * *

**TBC...**

**Please review; this fic is so hard for me to write and I'd really appreciate a couple more reviews... it's sort of upsetting to put so much work into something like this and only get five reviews (although, to those who have reviewed; I love you XD)**

**Please.... review.... please....**

**Kasey**


	8. Chapter 7

**Here is chapter Seven; it's longer than the others (at least it looks that way on Word ;P) so enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!**

**KaseyKC**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

* * *

"_Jesus said, "Lucky is the lion that the human will eat, so that the lion becomes human. And foul is the human that the lion will eat, and the lion still will become human." – The Gospel of St. Thomas__**"**_

"_And he said, "The person is like a wise fisherman who cast his net into the sea and drew it up from the sea full of little fish. Among them the wise fisherman discovered a fine large fish. He threw all the little fish back into the sea, and easily chose the large fish. Anyone here with two good ears had better listen!" – The Gospel of St. Thomas__**"**_

* * *

"_His disciples asked him and said to him, 'do you want us to fast? How should we pray? Should we give to charity? What diet should we observe?'" Castiel recited the passage as he sat against the tree he'd named as his home base, and mulled over its meaning, 'well, the fact of the beginning of the passage could show how man needs guidance from God, how man cannot decide things for themselves? Maybe....' he sighed and recited the rest of the passage, "Jesus said, 'Don't lie, and don't do what you hate, because all things are disclosed before heaven. After all, there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, and there is nothing covered up that will remain undisclosed." _

_Castiel sighed and looked up at the branch of the great oak, watching the leaves whisper about in the wind, 'He told them only one thing, He gave them only one order; to not lie. He was giving them a warning; lying is not permitted, it is sinful and can hurt others. To lie is bad and He was informing them of that. He did not care for what charity they did or did not give their aid to, He did not care for their diets or how they prayed. Only that they mustn't lie; one simple order. And mankind failed Him, they failed the Lord.' Castiel closed his eyes and when he heard the sound of a deer cantering into the clearing he resolutely refused to open them. He was tired of this, tired of waiting for passages to appear and tired of having to discern their meanings. He felt hot breath on his face that smelt of grass and he blinked his eyes open to come face-to-face with a buck that was giving him 'the eye' as Dean would put it._

_He leaned his head back and bumped it against the trunk of the oak. It seemed to realise that he wasn't all that happy to have its face in his and so took a few steps back, into the middle of the clearing where it brayed._

_He cocked his head to the side as it continued to bray and the trees began to swish and the wind picked up. The clouds in the sky that had been on the fringes of the sun now completely engulfed it, darkening the entire garden and small droplets of rain began to fall._

_A drop landed on his trench-coat and began to fizzle, it was joined by another drop which landed on his hand and began to burn the skin._

"_Acid rain?" He muttered quietly, in surprise. He didn't know all that much about acid rain but from what Sam had explained to him about it, it was much like the rain that would pour from the heavens and burn away all evil and sin when the end came._

_The buck brayed again and Castiel looked to it, he saw that it was drenched because it was out in the middle of the rain and was beginning to melt away. It looked as though it was in agony but it couldn't, or wouldn't, move. Raising an eyebrow Castiel took a step towards it but was knocked back by an incredibly strong blast of wind that lifted the Angel right off his feet and sent him crashing into the trunk of the oak behind him._

_He slid to the ground and looked dazedly at the buck as it continued to melt away. His limbs felt heavy and his mind swam, he was an Angel of the Lord not a human, such a blast of wind shouldn't have caused him such pain as that which he felt in his head. But it did and he was currently incapacitated; he could do nothing. Nothing but watch as the buck slowly, and painfully, died in anguish. _

_Eventually, after a few more minutes, the buck fell silent after its braying subsided and it collapsed and died, its breath rattling in and out of its lungs as the rain began to ease off. Castiel, now able to move, stood up slowly, a hand on the tree for support, and gently pushed off of it and stumbled towards the now-dead buck. There was no wind to knock him back but he was still careful, he doubted he would remain conscious after another knock like the one prior._

_He fell to his knees next to the buck and felt tears trying to break free and roll freely down his cheeks. This creature was one of God's and it had died, painfully, in absolute agony and he had not been able to save it. Why?_

* * *

Sam sighed and listened to Dean arguing with Bobby on the phone, technically he should have been listening but he just couldn't seem to focus on anything at the moment. His mind was still thinking about that 'dream' he' had and the conversation with Cas.

False-Anna was stood silently standing beside the door to the motel room, like she was a body guard, or a security detail. She was watching Sam intently, observing how he was not listening to what Dean was saying into the thing he held next to his head. She tilted her head slightly and tried to peer into his thoughts, though she found it quite difficult to do with Dean, Sam's thoughts were so haphazardly stacked and were turned on and off at the flick of a switch, that she always had difficulty with focusing on one thought at a time; they were like race horses on a track. Add that to the fact that the two siblings were incredibly paranoid and weary of anyone and everyone which meant that their minds were more closed off than most other humans and that made her attempts all the more difficult. But she would persevere and would discover what it was that distracted Sam Winchester so.

Or she would have done so if Dean had not chosen that moment to snap the cell phone shut and launch it across the room. It impacted on the wall and shattered like glass, and that got Sam's attention and disrupted Anna's.

"Dean!" Sam exploded, "That was new!"

"Shut up! Bobby says there's nothing to help us with Cas and then he happily dropped the bombshell that a couple dozen hunters are looking for us!" Dean snarled as he threw himself into a chair, "God damn it!"

Anna watched as Sam stood up and looked down at Dean, "Well you didn't have to launch my phone at the wall; do that with your own next time."

Dean glared at his brother but Sam had already turned away and was walking towards the door, "Where you going?" he said.

"I'm going to go out and say hello to daylight! I've been in here for too long!" Sam answered snarkily as he wrenched open the door and closed it behind him, a lot quieter than he wanted to but he knew Cas was still unconscious and he had the good manners to not be so inconsiderate.

Anna stood beside the door, silent as Dean growled darkly and looked over at Cas, worry colouring his features and making him seem smaller and more vulnerable. Anna cocked her head to the side and considered explaining who she was, but she couldn't do that; it would be breaking the rules. She had to observe this, she had to see how they would react; if they would fulfil their destinies. All of them.

* * *

_Castiel closed his eyes and blessed the creature, before rising and turning away from the sight. He walked back over to his tree and leaned heavily against it, his head resting on the bark and his eyes closed; he was so tired, so weary and all he wanted to do was lie down and slumber. His eyes snapped open, 'no. Angels do not sleep. We stay in Heaven and rest but we do not sleep.'_

_The trees began to swish and the sound of leaves rustling could be heard as they began to dance about again, winding and twisting themselves into words once again. Castiel, forlornly turned around to look at them and read what they twisted themselves into aloud, "Jesus said, "Lucky is the lion that the human will eat, so that the lion becomes human. And foul is the human that the lion will eat, and the lion still will become human."_

_He fully expected for the words to disappear and he was not disappointed, however, the leaves continued to twist and turn into new words which he also read aloud, "And he said, "The person is like a wise fisherman who cast his net into the sea and drew it up from the sea full of little fish. Among them the wise fisherman discovered a fine large fish. He threw all the little fish back into the sea, and easily chose the large fish. Anyone here with two good ears had better listen!"_

_Then the leaves floated to the ground and the trees became still and Castiel was left with two passages instead of one._

* * *

Sam sighed and leaned against the railing and looked over into the murky water below; it wasn't exactly what he expected the river to look like but he didn't really care about it because he wasn't really looking at it. He was thinking. He was thinking about a whole lot of things that were starting to make his head hurt but he just couldn't stop thinking about them.

He had had a dream, he was sure it was a dream; or at least, he hoped it was a dream, and he had had a conversation with Cas about the place where life was, where it began.

He recalled how desperate for the answer Cas had seemed, not that the Angel showed it outwardly, it was more of a feeling and the way Cas' eyes had stared at him, almost as though he was staring deep into him just to find the answer. Though Cas hadn't trusted him because he was 'demon-blood boy' he couldn't recall a time when Cas had looked so intently for an answer, it was almost as though it was a life-or-death situation and Cas needed to know it was the truth. Of course, the stare was exceptionally disconcerting and when he'd popped away he had found that when he'd tried to stand that he'd almost collapsed; it was like all his strength had been 'zapped' away.

Rubbing his neck Sam closed his eyes and thought about how Dean had been behaving these last few days; he was certain that his brother was protective about the Angel because he doubted Dean would be so pissed off and as murderous as he was now if it was just any old person. And he didn't think it had much to do with the fact that Cas had saved Dean's ass more than just a few times in the past; heck, the Angel had dragged him out of Hell, that's got to get a guy some brownie-points hasn't it?

He looked down the river and thought about a couple of spells and incantations he could probably try to see if he could contact Cas in his dreams again; Dean probably wouldn't like it, correction, Dean would kill him if he did actually do the spells and something went wrong. Actually, he reasoned that Dean would still kill him even if everything went right and turned out hunky-dory, because that was the way Dean was. And the way Sam was was that he wouldn't stop until he found an answer that he was satisfied with; and the only answer that would satisfy him would be Cas awake, alive and back to being their silent and emotionally restrained Angel of the Lord and the funniest guy to put in a room with a coffee-maker.

* * *

_Castiel slid down to the ground and tilted his head back until it rested on the bark of the oak tree, before he began to recite the first passage he had to discern the meaning of, "Jesus said, 'Lucky is the lion that the human will eat, so that the lion becomes human. And foul is the human that the lion will eat, and the lion still will become human."_

_He closed his eyes and thought for a moment of the ambiguousness of that passage. 'It obviously speaks of transcendence... the transformation of one thing to another.... but a lion?' Castiel frowned and continued to ponder, 'could it be a metaphor for courage? Saying that a human is lucky if it finds the courage to do something, and unlucky if it does not find the courage in time but that the human still has the courage? OR is speaking about the idea that one thing and another is the same and nothing is unique and everything is equal in the eyes of the Lord? Or could it mean both?'_

_Castiel sighed and, instead of waiting to see if some bell would toll and signal his discovery of the meaning, moved onto the next passage. "And he said, "The person is like a wise fisherman who cast his net into the sea and drew it up from the sea full of little fish. Among them the wise fisherman discovered a fine large fish. He threw all the little fish back into the sea, and easily chose the large fish. Anyone here with two good ears had better listen."_

_As he considered the miniature parable Castiel had a strange thought, 'isn't it strange that I'm able to recall such an obscure thing in perfect detail?' it made him chuckle out loud at the irony of it; he was often considered to be the Angel with one of the most atrocious memories because he had never been one for remembering the orders of Zachariah, 'I think I understand why I never really liked him.. he's more insane than Lucifer...' He shook his head slightly and forced himself to focus on the passage, 'could this parable be trying to teach that something that is better or larger or more productive, is better than a group of things that are less productive, smaller or less effective? Or could it be trying to explain the practicality of humans? A human will always choose the biggest thing because it is bigger and they automatically assume that bigger equals better.... maybe... maybe not... and the last line; it is a gentle scolding, a reminder that everyone has the ability to listen and to learn from many things and so must actually use their eyes for hearing and better-yet, listening.'_

_He sighed and muttered, "I wonder if I'm right?"_

_And nothing answered him._

* * *

Dean leaned back in the chair and watched Cas as he _didn't_ move, the only thing the Angel did was breathe and even then that was rare; it was like Cas had become a machine, or had lost the necessity for oxygen. Heck, Dean didn't know anything about it really, maybe it was how Angels were when they were freakin' in an Angelic coma or something?

He closed his eyes and thought of the nightmares he'd been having recently; they all included Cas and a deer, 'no a buck' he corrected. A buck that was in the middle of a clearing and was melting, melting of all things! And he couldn't do anything to stop it, couldn't do anything to save it, and neither could Cas. Cas was lying on the ground bleeding, dying, and he was still fighting, still shouting to try and save the buck; just like Dean.

He didn't understand it, didn't know if there was any significance to it, but the same dream kept waking him up whenever he dozed off, even for a few seconds. The animals screeches of agony and Cas' shouts of anguish always caused him to jolt awake and nearly shoot Anna everytime she sat by his bed and watched over him. When the day came he wouldn't mention it to Sam and whatever was bothering Sam wasn't mentioned to him; but if he had to guess then he figured that it was probably the same thing that kept waking him up.

He was thinking about the animal's screeches when the door opened and he opened his eyes, immediately cautious, but he needn't have been so weary because it was only Sam who came bearing gifts. Gifts that looked and smelled suspiciously like food.

"I'm starving." Was all Dean said as Sam rolled his eyes and kicked the door shut behind him. He placed the food on the table and looked at Anna.

"I didn't know if you wanted anything so I got a sandwich for you and a salad," Sam said placing a chicken sandwich and salad in front of one of the chairs.

Anna looked at Sam surprised, she didn't realise that he had thought of her when he had acquired sustenance for him and his brother. She didn't actually need to eat but she reasoned that it would be rude of her, and also offend Sam, if she refused so she smiled and said, "Thank you Sam," and sat down in front of the food.

Dean raised an eyebrow at her but didn't comment and Sam positively beamed as he handed Dean his hamburger and can of Iron Bru in front of him. Then Sam sat down and began to eat his food also; which consisted of a salad, wrap and a bag of fruit which he threw at Dean using the excuse of, "something to counteract all that grease in your blood."

They ate their food in partial-silence at first before Sam and Dean began chatting and arguing about trivial things, and Dean attempted to recruit Anna in his argument for fatty-foods; which she kindly declined and chose to side with Sam instead which made Dean pout and Sam laugh.

She found it fun to be spending time with the siblings, eating with them, and joking about with them; it made her almost forget her job, almost.


End file.
